Afraid Of

Gazing at stars, he took birth but
so afraid to let go, kept his eyes shut
far far away from the noise of this new-built city
he was asleep in the shade of chestnut.

The way he walked, marked a cut
rendering his life in a rut
shattering his bones
making him a brut.

His heart shakes every time, a storm passes by,
blocking it with more disgust
even air appears to be an attack,
filling his nostrils with undesirable break & dust.

Veins on the verge of explosion,
flowing rivers of tears,
spilled blood on the floor,
longest journey ahead for the peace, but
lies there a fact not known to him,
about a hidden diamond which is just yet uncut.

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I am

I am crunched,I am crashed,I am smashed,I am fucked,I am stuffed,I am toasted, I am bowd, I am cockeyed, I am crazy, I am crooked , I am crumpled, I am distorted, I am twisted, I am warped , I am suffocated, I am tanked, I am the worse for, I am weakened , I am worsened, I am suppressed, I am subjugated, i am raddled, I am reduced, I am pissed, I am polluted, I am potted, I am skunk-drunk, I am oiled, I am pickled, I am aggravated, I am burned, I am busted, I am canned, I am chipped, I am crocked, I am harmed, I am imperfect, I am muddled, I am quashed, I am  scalded, I am  squiffy, I am  stewed, I am  subdued, I am  swacked, I am  torn, I am  slashed, I am screwed , I am exacerbated, I am felled, I am  flattened, I am  fried , I am  pissy-eyed, I am lopsided , I am unplugged, I am  soaked, I am overstuffed, I am  burst, I am overfed, I am  overgorged, I am overloaded, I am disgusted, I am frustrated, I am irritated, I am not I am now 😦

OK it’s done now , it’s hard now to find out more words in my memory.:(

yeah last one now I am memory-less.


I used to think that I can think,
but awful Thought to drink,
that I can not Think !

One might wonder what it takes to think,
but thunder even takes time to blink !

People say I am no mind
because my mind shrink with each ring.
but the question that stinks
is how does mind ring ?
See now even you know I can not Think !

One might wonder what it takes to think,
nothing my friend ,
doublethink ?Just an eye wink !

Have seen dog whose tail has no kink ,
Even girls like pink ,
so where does it all sink ?

Din’ you heard the glass’s clink ,
rather prefer unthink than to think ,
how often you find yourself being a fink`,

Seen the only light that wink
on the other side of this deepest sink
seen that plinth, heard that oink
on the other side of this deepest sink
I did think I can reach to that only brink

but one might wonder what it takes to think,
I would say
you stink & you sometimes overthink
that you can think !

Almighty ! People say I can not think !
And that is a awful Thought to drink !
And harsh world think they are thinkable ,
but really the harsh think is
they just think they can !

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One last breath

Two o one o is playing GMAE with me & i have not yet won a single match … what the f***! My luck has left me , GOD is not even responding…Things are becoming more tough for me…
I dream of world where i lie on the bed of rose in COMPLETE ZERO.I close of my eyes to see toxication spreading out in my body, I feel that bed on which i am lying is burning & flames are high in air with white smoke that is forming clouds ….& the best thing is wind is not letting these clouds to stay . Who knows where they will go & convert into rain.
Living in my own world,didn’t understand that anything can happen when you take a chance,I never believed in what I couldn’t see,I never opened my heart to all the possiblities,I know…that something has changed.
First time I did it & I never knew that it could happen till just happened to me , I did it never before by now it’s easy to see but HE wants to revert the process, I am really pissed off.Why does it happen to me?
A dialogue of a movie just came to my mind that says,
” hamari filmo ki tarah hamari
zindagi mein bhi end tak sab theek ho jaata hai….
Aur agar woh theek nahin hai,
to woh THE END nahin hai dosto,
Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost,
Picture abhi baaki hai……..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
That means a ray of hope is still there…I think! 😦
Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there’s something left for me
So please come stay with me
Cause I still believe there’s something left for you and me
For you and me
For you and me


All things were going in decent way till I burst out with that unusual voice, might be disguising myself in the face of frankness. I touched the heart of someone thinking that my one will become a bit light, but as always happens with me just the outcome was really unexpected rendering me in deep & never-ending voyage of thoughts & those thoughts has brought enormous amount of frustration & anger in me.I was actually becoming a bit selfish,dint’ I ? I never expected these consequences(sometimes)that could happen, of being so true to yourself, pondering if this dark night will ever make a successful call for the new moon of my life?I wish I could ever apologise for my doings.
Year 2010 brought what I don’t want to wish for. Really unpredictable things tackling my brain daily .I still don’t have their definitions .Actually, I am in amaze whether this year has brought lots of ups & downs for me or these are the some initial difficulties of something really big. My heart is becoming so weak that anything has just started penetrating it even what fears from it in previous year.
But do you know what the best is that I got a chance to touch my heart first in my 20 years of life & that’s the best effect on this WONDERLAND anyone can feel.But I really want to move to Pendora now. #Hope,that I can get more tick-marks in my to-do list not like last year:(
Last but not the least,May GOD give me strength so I never hurt anyone like I did recently.
Except it, I can’t cram things,Oh ! THY save me from these unwanted theory !Is getting good marks is the only necessary reason of our sweet little life? Strange things always happens with strange peoples 😀