Malnourished flame of love

Since thousands of years, I am headed to that flame
heard she’s glowing somewhere far far away
heard she’s a desire not the part of fire
shaky yet definite, tender yet mature, thin yet efficient.

Heard she’s mad when wind rustle through the trees
obliging for a conversion into fire
asking to hold her to put an end to this restlessness
reading an anecdote to close her eyes.

Heard she’s sad when they don’t adore her warmth
tests your patience to see if it flee
giggles with you till tear roll down your eye
stares with those biggest brown eyes till you are lost.

Heard she’s the reason for so many to live
yet the reason to give all and die
yet the reason for understanding love
yet the reason for believing in angel from up above.

Heard she’s yellowish-orange like sun
but fair enough to take your breathe away
heard she’s hot like lava
but soft enough to slip out of hands
Heard she’s the one, the dream, the star, the heart, the truth,
the fun, the therapist,
but never realised she’s the feeling of contentment and
the young love.

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When I’m on roads

When I’m on roads,
I see big trucks, I see little cycles,
Chasing each other,
I’m so frightened when a hole is missed on roads.

When I’m on roads,
I see lights, I see dark,
Moving away like I’m a criminal,
I’m so frightened when I see red on roads.

When I’m on roads,
I see smiles, I see tears,
Fighting each other,
I’m so frightened when I see jam on roads.

When I’m on roads,
I see a mare, I see a bier,
Mocking at each other,
I’m so frightened when I find water on roads.

When I’m on roads,
I see football, I see hockey sticks,
Loosing respect in the hearts,
I’m so frightened when I’m forced to stop on roads.

When I’m on roads,
I hear blessings, I hear imprecates,
Bringing life on earth,
I’m so frightened when I’m lying on roads.

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Lights Out!

Close your eyes & you found out,
you see,
but world revolves with a doubt,
light is gone, life is gone,
all that remains is a mark of clout.

I miss those days when I walk about,
Had a peace of mind that
I am trying to figure out,
and heard a voice “come about”,
but the next moment I was, totally, freaked out.

I saw when water fell out,
but as if I knew,
blood will burn out,
My heart shouts, when lights are out.

I could see them building a route,
does that mean she is gonna walkout?
I see the men cry out, the girls cry out,
this world is running out,
Thy mighty love, O God, help us out.

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I came to know, I am in Gurgaon

Temperature Stats:
Room: 21 Degree Celsius
Outside: 27 Degree Celsius
My mind: 48 Degree Celsius

Can you even imagine how furiously I am burning from inside? No you can’t! Unless it happens with you, god forbid!
I didn’t have any idea, what kind of hell ‘that girl‘ must’ve been going through, till now.  I totally understand there is no comparison. These moments have torn apart my self-esteem literally. What happened? So …

We were damn hungry, so plan was to go out & get something to eat. Abhinav had a meeting but that has just got postponed, so he left office with me too.  As soon as, we reached to the nearest metro station, it had been decided to get dinner directly. So that was it. On another note,  I was quite happy because I successfully recovered my phone after 15 hours hard work & got ICS on it. Well, I must say, I had no idea it’s all going to fade in few minutes. Gurgaon is place holding up variety of people & 90% of them has no idea what & why they are doing it, and the reason is they are drunk. So as I & him was discussing about halabol & stuff, we encountered 5 out of those 90% assholes to be exact. You know, it is very rare to see stars in the sky of gurgaon due to all that dust & pollution, but I just saw many, awesome, isn’t it? I can bet, you will see too after getting slapped so tightly many times. I can’t remember exact number but it should be around 5-7, oh no, not stars, to calculate stars multiply with 4-5 I guess, so it comes out around 35. Well dude, 35, so rare in this bloody sky.

They took away lots of money + phone worth INR [ do you really need this much of detailing? ], they wanted more [that includes our machines + another phone]. Here they go, one more shot right away on my left cheek, “give us your bloody mobile” I was like okay take it, but then next moment, dude I ain’t gonna give you, I just installed new os on it, & haven’t tested it yet. So I pushed those 3 people a little bit & then ran for the life, for the misery, for the absolution that would never come. We always run away from our problems, so that’s kinda our habit 🙂 And I am very good at it. I don’t know, he said later, this ‘run’ helped his legs to get some confidence & run too. So we kinda get rid of them after getting assaulted/robbed/kicked, & then asked for help to nearest fu***ng security guard, he said “I can’t leave, I am on my duty.”  WTF! So I arranged a bamboo somehow & then went onto same path, this is called being heroic,  see if we can find them, but in vain. He called police, & they said, “Why do you keep such expensive phones”,  just like “why do girls get out after 8 pm?”  And rest is history.

So was it amazing? You have no idea.  Is sitting in an a.c. room & writing an article, doing all that shitty talks about ‘how to make this place safe’ is enough? [ And finally, I don’t think, there is any point in repeating all that police, guard shit topic 🙂 ]

We can do two things either keep pouring in all this blood shit or can fight? I don’t know, whether I am the right person for doing any of this, but I am sure, next time anything like this happens => I am not gonna give up so easily or may be I can,  I just don’t know the future for god sake, but I am not. Whatever it takes, I know, I have to fight so I can die peacefully someday 🙂 [ Everyone is mortal, C’mon don’t tell me you didn’t know that. ]

We were no more hungry.
Please, live & let live 😦


2nd april, Saturday,
Let me close my eyes & try to feel that music again that was beating across my heart when in that over ball crossed boundary & everyone was shouting like hell that one is barely able to hear his own voice. I never heard that kinda coordination before really astounding one. When you continually hear so loud same pitch sound for too long, your ears lost their hearing sensibility & we went out of the world to celebrate the moment of historical victory over Sri Lanka. People say, “God Rama in the form of Sachin got victory over Lanka again.” Really that was moment was like I want to live again. People were falling upon each other, singing, shouting [ some were trying to shout ( Why trying, shout continuously 15-20 Mins you will know! ) ], flash of cameras, crying, dancing, smell of bear in the air & that sound coming out of all the voices was, I can’t really explain. It was worth feeling. I’m feeling lucky. Indian Cricket Team did it eventually 😉 After T-20 now, We are world champions. Man awesome! While waving flag, I felt like I am flying with it. Freakishly addictive. Sachin zindabad, vande matram, dhoni zindabad & even poonam pandey zindabad etc were the slogans in the air.As the Ravi Shastri said, “Now let’s call upon …” Everyone was again out of control & he humbly said,”Thank you all for your support.” [ What a magnificant attitude, truely! ] Do I had to write name of that person? And as soon as the closing ceremony went off, everyone around start yelling & around 150 students were on roads within 2-3 minutes marching for one nation, for their happiness, for the one team, for the one game that binds whole nation in one thread, for the eternal victory, for the gift given to Great God of Cricket by his team-mates, for the love, for the life, for me, for you & for everything around us.
This was the best part & the worst part is ICC played with our emotions handing the fake WC Trophy to India and the person who did this is none other than an Indian, president of ICC “Sharad Power” such a shame for India. What the F*** that guy really is? I ask people, “Why burn pupet of him, just burn him down!” ICC has played with our emotions, with our hearts, with the people who did so hard work to get that cup, with the one guy who waited all his life to kiss that cup once. If Sachin really wanted to kiss fake trophy? I would suggest that president not to walk on indian roads else people will crush your bones, trust me. Those people have anger that you can’t even imagine. I really not in mood to write more about this insane scandel but like to slap that guy once.


One last breath

Two o one o is playing GMAE with me & i have not yet won a single match … what the f***! My luck has left me , GOD is not even responding…Things are becoming more tough for me…
I dream of world where i lie on the bed of rose in COMPLETE ZERO.I close of my eyes to see toxication spreading out in my body, I feel that bed on which i am lying is burning & flames are high in air with white smoke that is forming clouds ….& the best thing is wind is not letting these clouds to stay . Who knows where they will go & convert into rain.
Living in my own world,didn’t understand that anything can happen when you take a chance,I never believed in what I couldn’t see,I never opened my heart to all the possiblities,I know…that something has changed.
First time I did it & I never knew that it could happen till just happened to me , I did it never before by now it’s easy to see but HE wants to revert the process, I am really pissed off.Why does it happen to me?
A dialogue of a movie just came to my mind that says,
” hamari filmo ki tarah hamari
zindagi mein bhi end tak sab theek ho jaata hai….
Aur agar woh theek nahin hai,
to woh THE END nahin hai dosto,
Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost,
Picture abhi baaki hai……..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
That means a ray of hope is still there…I think! 😦
Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there’s something left for me
So please come stay with me
Cause I still believe there’s something left for you and me
For you and me
For you and me

I walk alone

I always needed time on my own

I never thought I’d need you there when I cry

And the days feel like years when I’m alone

And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now

The pieces of my heart are missing you

The face I came to know is missing too

The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok

I miss you

I hope this new year won’t give me any more shocks 😉 I have already faced many unexpected things happening to me , why  THY holy do this ! But now People sometimes says I have someone to share things with or even this blog , LOL really can this piece of codes make me feel calm & composed as I was before ..never !I actually never expected anyone to listen me but that was only ‘ ‘you’ with whom I expected only . Now I have no1 again till you come back 😦 THY please quit playing games with my heart !

Last night was so restless but now feeling good because the best thing happened to me is these all things made me emotionless till Unknowns & that is even a bit good for me .

I hope my journey to home will help me to forget me what I lost in last days, just a hope :D. But Still I am waiting for ‘YOU’ to be here & will do till Unknowns because I trust ‘YOU’  & myself too that I am not so weak that are the emotions that has been grounded not me .After all ‘YOU’ make me strong 😉

The only one that I have ever known Don’t know where it goes But it’s home to me  and I again walk alone …till Unknowns .

Jeene do yaar

Saari umar hum
Mar mar ke jee liye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
Jeene do

Bachpan to gaya
Jawani bhi gayi
Ek pal to ab humein
Jeene do jeene do

Give me some sunshine
Give me some rain
Give me another chance
I wanna grow up once again

Why you want from me ?Why my luck always make things more complicated for me ..?


“u ll live ur lyf to d fullest” These were the words said to me by cute one,#breathe 😉 One more thing was said to me is to see          “3 IDIOTS” by 2 IDIOTS of my life & the 3rd one is me. One is my former friend actually classmate & second one is the same cute one who gave me that free advice.

That cute one is most incredible, unbelievable person I have ever met in my life & I think no one matches the attitude that cute one has .

Just watch 3 IDIOTS,a good one ! I suggest all that one should always listen to cute one because cute one’s are mostly right.I was just fighting for the my mood but this movie help a little bit to control over my emotions & think that v ll be in front of each other soon again . May be all is well !

Into the unknowns with me!

Aasu Namak Se Lage Rishte Hain Kachhe Daage
Rate Pe Apne Saaye Khud Se Kyun Door Baage

Someone said to me why do you expect others to trust you or love you or care you or think about you ?Still this question puzzles my mind… New year is bringing lots of ups & downs, the very next moment I have to face what I don’t want to, fate is dragging me forcefully into unknowns. Every second I am loosing ,rendering myself into disgusting situations.

Why does it always happens with me yaar ! I thought someone is there with me to hear what am i saying in every second of my life…Why things always comes to go aways later from you? But that was not any  ‘thing’, a real  time processing unit in the form of heart of the body . I don’t want to loose that beautiful heart but my fate as it’s habit don’t want me to spend few moments happily. That person is now so far away from me till the unknown . May be ‘you’ reading this,you know who refers ‘you’? let me tell you one thing it’s impossible (and this impossible does not mean i m possible this is impossible means can’t possible simply) to forget even a single moment .Gonna keep those feeling forever!

So if anyone likes to come into unknowns with me because now I think this blog is the only option left for me to express my feelings both to unknowns & may be to knowns. Again, I am confused if I am alone or not?

From the moment I first saw you
Knew my heart could not be free
Have to hold you in my arms now
There can never be another for me

Burning, burning

I remember that I can still feel you
Sometimes I’m blind but I see you
You are here but so far away

The times when you wanna.. Im missing you
Makes me feel like I’m spinning
Sometimes you get what you gain

I’m on a coaster-collision
Am not about to give in
Can’t explain my position or the condition that I’m in.