Hunting me


Hammering the head against the wall,
filling face with blood,
popping the veins out,
ripping heart out of chest, but
I am on the run to hunt myself.
Jumping into those blue waters,
watching everything go dark,
sensing them around
signalling to leave the place, but
I am on the run to hunt myself.
Wandering across the distant land,
meeting with the drifters,
listening to those desperate cries,
feeling the agitation in the air, but
I am on the run to hunt myself.
Entering into the colosseum,
listening to the chanting names,
struggling with irons,
observing those coming spears, but
I am on the run to hunt myself.
Lying in the cradle,
hearing her sing,
dreaming with eyes wide open,
attempting to get out, but
I am just an infant.
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Recursive Meditation: A tool to build your mind and body


Disclaimer: This post isn’t about how to meditate or about the workout routine, diet tips etc to get that chiseled look. Later about that may be. 🙂

Success is broken, goal is shattered & path to it is singular so that being said, one cannot find complete happiness at the end of it. Go somewhere else, do something else, if that’s the only motive.

You see, there is always something lacking. I think, it has to be this way if not we’d all be just… brittle. And strange thing is people adapts all sorts of techniques or processes to achieve what’s not there, and yet never reaching to the saturation point. Well, I am no exception. These things can’t be taught, can only be learnt by making mistakes and takes years, you realize here, what I’m talking about, “That tenuous sole connection between our mind and soul.”

Basically, it all started with a roar, “You’re gonna keep doing reps, till I say so.” one more, one more… and no-one really knows on what number, counter stopped. I’ve had seen such incidents in movies but never had it happened with me. Pump was great and I was confused. How did I actually do that? What kept me going? Why did my muscles not went nuts in previous sets but this one? The answer was simple but tough to grasp and even adapt. One gotta take control of mind & generation of thoughts; be it positive or negative. Taking control of that ongoing battle whether I should continue or drop it.  It’s like controlling your thoughts to control the mind which are controlled by mind itself, see, this is what I call meditation; a recursive one. Mediation is generally considered as a practice to train your mind to induce a mode of consciousness in which you’re supposed to sit on a place and focus on one thing. But I think it as a 24 hours practice, in which you fight with all sorts of dark energy which is invariably demanding to put you on your knees. 

So, these two things mind and body are tied to each other with a thin line called pain which comes in varities. Our whole life revolves around it from birth to death yet we keep looking for ways to dodge it; irrespective of the fact that, it is imperative. Sooner we realise this, the sooner we’ll be master of our body and mind. But this cannot happen overnight, it’s a continual struggle till one dies and you need this, believe or not, to fail, to succeed, to get that relieve that otherwise would never come. 

That’s the secret, this is the limitation, everyone seem to be searching for, mind-muscle control. Once you transcend it, no time & space exists for you anymore. You reach into the state where what you imagine, becomes reality. You create an image of end-result and becomes desperately obsessed with it that you do whatever it takes to make that a reality. And this image doesn’t have to be some really farfetched vision but could be simpler things like watching myself completing this post in next hour or watching myself going for those 20 reps, even if I ended up tearing my muscles apart. You see our mind works pretty much like water, as water takes the shape of whatever container holds it, whether it be in a glass or a vessel or a seashore. Likewise, our mind will fabricate itself according to the thoughts/images. That’s how one’s destiny is created. To change the visible part, we have to first change the invisible. People often neglect this step and work tirelessly to change the external. This might save you a breath or two, but you won’t be able to dive deep with it.

Let’s take a smooth yet influential example. Have you ever seen any athlete practicing? Why do they practice so hard, while the reality is comparatively easy? Why soldiers has to go through rigorous training? It’s to keep them ready for the sake of deterrence. This is to break them mentally so nothing, absolutely nothing comes as surprise later. Another quick example would be, individuals working out set after set hitting weights, simply “moving weights around”, without even realising that it’s all waste because targeted muscle isn’t fatigued yet or may be the motion has become compound movement unknowingly and some other muscle group is being worked upon now. So, secret is, to establish a direct connection between the brain and muscle seeking to be targeted, then only full contraction can happen, then only it gets developed. Right (?), we believe in stones blindly, then how hard it is to believe in the only one thing that’s truly ours. As they say “Practice doesn’t make you perfect, perfect practice makes you perfect.”

Lots on mind, pen down for now…

I am


I am crunched,I am crashed,I am smashed,I am fucked,I am stuffed,I am toasted, I am bowd, I am cockeyed, I am crazy, I am crooked , I am crumpled, I am distorted, I am twisted, I am warped , I am suffocated, I am tanked, I am the worse for, I am weakened , I am worsened, I am suppressed, I am subjugated, i am raddled, I am reduced, I am pissed, I am polluted, I am potted, I am skunk-drunk, I am oiled, I am pickled, I am aggravated, I am burned, I am busted, I am canned, I am chipped, I am crocked, I am harmed, I am imperfect, I am muddled, I am quashed, I am  scalded, I am  squiffy, I am  stewed, I am  subdued, I am  swacked, I am  torn, I am  slashed, I am screwed , I am exacerbated, I am felled, I am  flattened, I am  fried , I am  pissy-eyed, I am lopsided , I am unplugged, I am  soaked, I am overstuffed, I am  burst, I am overfed, I am  overgorged, I am overloaded, I am disgusted, I am frustrated, I am irritated, I am not I am now 😦

OK it’s done now , it’s hard now to find out more words in my memory.:(

yeah last one now I am memory-less.

Think


I used to think that I can think,
but awful Thought to drink,
that I can not Think !

One might wonder what it takes to think,
but thunder even takes time to blink !

People say I am no mind
because my mind shrink with each ring.
but the question that stinks
is how does mind ring ?
See now even you know I can not Think !

One might wonder what it takes to think,
nothing my friend ,
doublethink ?Just an eye wink !

Have seen dog whose tail has no kink ,
Even girls like pink ,
so where does it all sink ?

Din’ you heard the glass’s clink ,
rather prefer unthink than to think ,
how often you find yourself being a fink`,

Seen the only light that wink
on the other side of this deepest sink
seen that plinth, heard that oink
on the other side of this deepest sink
I did think I can reach to that only brink

but one might wonder what it takes to think,
I would say
you stink & you sometimes overthink
that you can think !

Almighty ! People say I can not think !
And that is a awful Thought to drink !
And harsh world think they are thinkable ,
but really the harsh think is
they just think they can !

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